She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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