I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
