I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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