I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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