Plan B is the new Plan A
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
