I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
