# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
