I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize