I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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