You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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