i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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