Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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