Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
