i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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