I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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