Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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