David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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