I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
