My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
