he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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