the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
