it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
