How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
