i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
