Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

(1-813): View more from Florida

What is a male extremity?

(813): View more from Florida

i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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(813): I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters (1-813): What is a male extremity? (813): i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex http://tfl.nu/l9w1

Replies (35) Good night (897) Bad night (4809)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.

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(703): I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier. http://tfl.nu/rjab

Replies (81) Good night (8432) Bad night (835)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(765): Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud. http://tfl.nu/41vp

Replies (7) Good night (4639) Bad night (815)
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(419): View more from Ohio

i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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(419): i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me http://tfl.nu/hyzr

Replies (18) Good night (6482) Bad night (1448)
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(480): View more from Arizona

it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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(480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes

Replies (12) Good night (2626) Bad night (1205)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....

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(717): I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday.... http://tfl.nu/1vhm

Replies (4) Good night (1779) Bad night (767)
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(513): View more from Ohio

We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

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(513): We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed. http://tfl.nu/rz1w

Replies (2) Good night (1628) Bad night (1464)
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(217): View more from Illinois

She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop

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(217): She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop http://tfl.nu/g9k9

Replies (6) Good night (2029) Bad night (748)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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(203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z

Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (907)
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(740): View more from Ohio

She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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(740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk

Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (813)
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(904): View more from Florida

Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven

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(904): Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven http://tfl.nu/577t

Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (464)
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(410): View more from Maryland

One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

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(410): One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes. http://tfl.nu/j23w

Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (676)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?

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(615): I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend. (1-615): Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist? http://tfl.nu/x9n9

Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (503)
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(858): View more from California

Is she okay?

(773): View more from Illinois

She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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(858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi

Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (345)
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(989): View more from Michigan

dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw

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(989): dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw http://tfl.nu/cvdu

Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (350)

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