So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.