Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies