I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent