Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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  (678): I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars http://tfl.nu/m106
  Replies (23) Good night (4529) Bad night (593)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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  (214): I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution. http://tfl.nu/bahd
  Replies (12) Good night (708) Bad night (3965)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

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  (720): After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards. http://tfl.nu/zyl3
  Replies (13) Good night (855) Bad night (2893)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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  (215): he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/6d9i
  Replies (13) Good night (7040) Bad night (1094)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.

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  (719): No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor. http://tfl.nu/gx10
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (6510)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"

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  (203): some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story" http://tfl.nu/0unr
  Replies (12) Good night (3030) Bad night (1319)
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  (631): View more from New York

  In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.

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  (631): In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out. http://tfl.nu/wzbc
  Replies (4) Good night (3344) Bad night (650)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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  (207): making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned http://tfl.nu/s1xm
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (683)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.

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  (519): Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth. http://tfl.nu/ne7c
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (421)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition

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  (989): tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition http://tfl.nu/yo0y
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (448)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.

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  (706): Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes. http://tfl.nu/784u
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (363)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"

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  (425): Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes" http://tfl.nu/k3vr
  Replies (5) Good night (253) Bad night (508)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.

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  (612): I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist. http://tfl.nu/coy1
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (337)
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  (707): View more from California

  Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid

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  (707): Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid http://tfl.nu/1mf7
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (309)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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  (816): Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question. http://tfl.nu/xpn9
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (318)

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