So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.