is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands