Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
