sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
