i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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