nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize