Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
