There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
