the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
