he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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