Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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