he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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