I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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