FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Someone shattered a urinal.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
