week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
