Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
