I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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