Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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