peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
