kristin has been a bad kristin
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
