i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
