Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
