Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
