Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
