At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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