We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
