i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you like me you must not know who I am
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
