Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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