i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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