ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
