I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You can't special order awesome
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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