Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
