What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
