Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
