I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
