so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
