Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize