you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
