you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
