Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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