my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
