Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize