can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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